Once I went to a funeral between appointments! Even though the person was not a close friend of mine & I went to support my own friend something clicked as to how wierd this was. Here I was honouring the passing of someone, a human life, the finality of that human being & I couldnt stay for the follow-on tea because I had an appointment with a client. Juxtaposed was the most important event of life we can face, with the ongoing ‘business’ of life. I felt guilty but also there was this soul-felt moment. It has struck me on numerous occasions that we may have something back the front here.
Whilst this topic could’ve gone under Subtle State Shifts I felt it important enough to have a separate treatment here. I think we may just be too good at getting on with the ‘stuff of life’. Is it a defence about the fact we will all die?~ I dont really know why I’m here; I didn’t knowingly choose to come here & dont know when I leave. But I will leave. I dont cause this heart to beat, I dont cause my own life & rarely am I grateful enough nor humble enough to acknowledge this. Can there be a more sombre soul-felt moment to reflect on: That you might not be here on earth tomorrow? Consider how quickly you will more than likely move away from this moment of reflection & maybe it will catch you as well.
What then should be the foundation of our life? If we are so busy getting on with it, with what ultimate purpose is that? Is the real purpose to improve the home, to advance at work, to get the house nice and tidy? For what ultimate purpose should we strive to present our bodies nicely & look well for the world, with the latest fashions or tattoos?
Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near
Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there’s nobody there
What does he care?
So do we drop everything & spend our life in prayer & hope? This I think is the suspicious challenge. No we dont but the reverse busy-ness becomes a rationalization for living completely free of the fact we dont create our own lives, love or true purpose. We pretend we do. Speak for myself? Sure. But what is the foundation of peoples lives when they can so easily abandon it when they are in fear, greed or conflict?
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind. Wordsworth, Poetry Foundation
“Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” (Leonard Cohen/Hemingway) This phrase implies that if we are broken then there is that same point of hope. As with Hemingway clearly it could break you open to the light of a higher life or kill you, if you dont break. The crack is when we experience vulnerability- not talking about it like this. When you feel pain, vulnerbility or suffering there is the potential for humility and the question, what is it all about.? Now we are open to the potential of deeper ground & an openness to the truth of existence.
